


Infinity War Rap Battle: Total Drama Edition

by MsFaust



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Total Drama (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22861690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsFaust/pseuds/MsFaust
Summary: NerdOut’s Infinity War Rap Battle, as performed by Total Drama characters.
Kudos: 1





	Infinity War Rap Battle: Total Drama Edition

**Author's Note:**

> Song link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUbAFaGojBU
> 
> While I tried to match up the characters as best I could, there were some cases where I just put in whoever I felt like.

(The video begins with a shot of the campers who don’t have a verse of their own, dressed as other characters from the MCU.)

Chorus: We've been waiting for this moment...

The final opponent...

Collecting their components...

To end humanity!

(Cut to Mike, dressed as Captain America, taking on a band of HYDRA goons.)

Mike: The first avenger, represent,

Show your elders some respect!

I've fought Nazis and robots,

And I've kept the gods in check!

Hey Thor, is Mjolnir light?

I got a heart of gold, I can hold it right?

Became a super soldier overnight,

I was skin and bone now all my clothes are tight.

I don't need a cape or hood

To cease Thanos' reign for good.

You can break the S.H.I.E.L.D. or take my shield,

This is Rogers’ neighborhood!

Yo Tony, me and your dad go back,

We should be making up.

These stars and stripes will have your back,

Even when they're stained in blood!

(Cut to Brick, dressed as the Winter Soldier, taking down HYDRA goons.)

Brick: So the mad Titan's here and he got around to running his mouth off.

I'ma hit him with a right then a left 'cause I got the ultimate south paw.

I got the homie Steve to cover me, the blows will just bounce off.

Fell asleep for a minute but I'm back and I'm looking for someone to pound on!

I ain't scared of your jewelry, you ain't fooling me 'cause

I've got a titanium arm, you came to fight with a glove!

You'll feel my might when I punch, I'll put a hole in your head.

Forget black and blue, I'ma beat you till that skull turns red!

(Cut to Zoey dressed as Black Widow, reenacting her character’s fight scene from Iron Man 2.)

Zoey: Time for you to say goodnight, the sun is getting real low.

Shock you with the widow's bite, now you moving real slow.

How does it feel knowing you could never take us.

Put on my steel-toes, stompin' purple balls' grape nuts.

Romanoff: double agent, highly trained assassin,

That means I'll stab you in your back and you won't know what happened.

Tony, Thor and Captain gonna leave you blue and blackened!

Avengers, assemble, you know my crew is never lacking!

(Cut to Tyler, dressed as Hawkeye, standing on a rooftop firing arrows at various enemies.)

Tyler: Set my sights, pull back and let it rip.

Say goodnight once you've been targeted.

Not long since I been gone, but a quick thought got me out of retirement

Got your heart rate faster than these arrows I been firing.

Said I was out of this rumble, even though I was top of my game,

But Thanos here looking for trouble, you know they been calling my name.

So load it up, on this ride till the fun stops.

Better run for cover, yeah, 'cause I only need one shot!

(Cut to Cody, dressed as Spider-Man, reenacting the ferry scene from Homecoming.)

Cody: Peter Parker picked some people plotting poison on the peeps,

Packed a painful punch and placed it parallel between his cheeks.

Planned to pop this poser, problems, now you see the pertinence,

Penalize the perpetrator, press him, pound him, permanent.

Adolescent but I'm mad effective,

Spider-Man on the web, yeah I'm that connected!

Thanos, ain't nobody want you here,

You just popped up kinda like a bad erection.

I don't like your face, I'm bout to go up on the high rise

And kick you off the web, just like disconnected WiFi!

(Cut to Dave, dressed as Falcon, engaged in aerial combat with Chitauri fliers.)

Dave: I'm about to swoop in and commence the battling.

You about to get pimp-slapped with a metallic wing.

I'm flying at you, make yo head ring, me and Redwing

Poppin' shots in your direction, let the lead sling!

You cannot get me up here, you cannot fly with a falcon.

We got you shakin' in fear, yeah you about to get outdone.

Face it, you just a lame with a glove.

When the missiles come down, justice rains from above, squad!

(Cut to Lightning, dressed as Black Panther, reenacting the chase scene from his character’s movie.)

Lightning: Look at his chin, get this dude some lotion.

Smacked in the face with my Bugatti spaceship, you bruised and broken.

Dressed in all black like the omen,

Come for the king, run for your life,

Now you want to kill, I can't condone it:

Now you gotta face a good opponent.

Wakanda villain are you, the one that's not too clever!

I'll have you on your knees screaming Wakanda forever!

You do not know the way, you do not get to speak.

You may be cold as ice but understand I never freeze.

(Cut to Courtney, dressed as Scarlet Witch, fighting Ultron drones.)

Courtney: Grab a straight jacket fast because this guy's insane.

Energy blast to the face, I'm about to fry your brain.

Climb inside your mind with my psionic powers,

Light flash will leave you blind for hours,

Cower, cry and lie in pain.

Now tap out, telekinetically giving your arm a twist:

The Sokovian conjurer known as Scarlet Witch!

My red magic slash, lacerate your cartilage,

And lay you down to sleep, then you will truly know that God exists.

(Cut to Cameron, dressed as Vision, descending to face Ultron.)

Cameron: Through the smoke around us I can see a vision clearly.

We're the ones that have to be strong while the world is weeping.

On the side of life we fight to save what we hold dearly.

Shield the universe in all-out war, it won't be easy.

Heroes are flooding the skies, we persevere to survive.

Better together we work harder our power combined.

Guarding and standing on watch, our people won't be deprived.

War left us all in the dark, we will assemble the light.

(Cut to Noah, dressed as Dr. Strange, fighting Kaecillius and his followers in the Dark Dimension.)

Noah: Not a hero, I'm a neurosurgeon

But I had to stop, my hands really hurting.

So I'm heading to Kamar Taj,

It’s hidden with camouflage.

Shamballa, the Ancient One,

It it manna or mana? Am I saying it wrong?

I'll know through focus, meditation,

Clothed in my new cloak of levitation.

It's Stephen Strange looking pimp in this suit.

Seasons change in an infinite loop.

Just think there’s you, and then there's me,

Trapped in this moment endlessly.

Dormammu, I've come to bargain,

Dormammu, I've come to bargain,

Dormammu, I've come to bargain,

‘Til I've done my bars, and then I'm departing!

(Cut to a re-enactment of the final battle in Age of Ultron.)

Chorus: We've been waiting for this moment...

The final opponent...

Collecting their components...

To end humanity!

(Cut to shots of Duncan dressed as Iron Man, fighting Iron Monger, Vanko and the Hammerdroids [alongside DJ], Killian, and the Chitauri [alongside Justin, Harold, Mike, and Cody].)

Mechanical voice: I am Iron Man!

Duncan: See me leading the Avengers to be triumphant,

Hearing Thanos play a tiny violin.

Yeah he's sad 'cause he knows that we gonna fight to win.

I'm a scientist so I'll find a plan.

Shoot a beam then Thor is gonna smash 'em with the Hulk,

I'm taggin' the Captain America with Spiderman.

Want infinity stones?

See the shine on my hand,

More money that the entire clan.

Hit you with magazines,

Not from my gun,

But the ones with my face inside of them.

You'd be canned,

I could tell you insecure like the size of an ant!

Man, step back when the arc reacts,

And talk to the hand when I'm firing!

(Cut to DJ, dressed as War Machine, fighting Ultron drones.)

DJ: Okay I heard you about torturing beings,

Unfortunate, seems you think that you're the Lord of the Rings.

Hold up, War Machine'll leave you shaking, rattled and scarred.

I'm coming at you with way more guns than a national guard!

Blasting your balls with about a thousand rounds of ammunition,

My shoulder cannons chop your head in half, you making split decisions!

Don't waste your breath, the Avengers, we the safest bet.

If you take a step then you will really have a date with death.

(Cut to Trent, dressed as Star-Lord, piloting the Milano.)

Trent: Star-Lord back in business, drop another awesome mix!

Your ego like a planet, think it's time it's blown to bits.

Bruce Willis looking prick, 100% a dick,

For someone so uptight you be like really into fists!

Relax my team, I'll blast this fiend like I stopped Ronan's slaughter.

This galaxy is backed by me, a-hole don't even bother.

Groovin', no one's hotter, and I know shitty fathers,

So don't hate on the Quill just 'cause the peter in your daughter!

(Cut to Sam, dressed as Rocket, reenacting the scene where his character’s traps deal with the Ravagers.)

Sam: Galaxy we're guarding it, guardians tear your cartilage!

You don't want any part of it, aiming straight for the heart of them.

Hey pardon me but Thanos has his five-finger rings out,

Use my five-finger discount, got these fire triggers inbound.

And you are not a douche guy,

I used my wrong eye didn't I?

Got to learn to wink right, give me time.

I was bio-engineered, broke out of cryo, commandeering

The nearest vessel just to pilot it violently up your rear!

(Cut to Ezekiel, dressed as Drax, fighting prisoners in the Kyln.)

Ezekiel: Hahahaha! Who are we killing today?

Quill, why are the people of your home planet so ugly?

And when does the fighting begin? I'm bored and hungry.

Thanos gonna take a loss against the walking thesaurus!

'Cause I come from a fam ripped apart,

Taking down Ronan was just a start.

They say I live for revenge,

But that's not true, sometimes I laugh,

And sometimes I can be sentimental:

The other day I called Mantis beautiful.

I wanna say a few words before this battle:

We're all gonna die, there's no hope in hell.

(Cut to Gwen, dressed as Gamora, fighting Heather, who is dressed as Nebula.)

Gwen: Feels like I been waiting for this moment forever!

Couldn't be better, the day we send you down to the nether

Where you belong, I was just a kid, you made me a weapon!

Now I'm back for my revenge, you best not be forgetting!

I'm an assassin, and this time I got a whole team.

Watch your limbs, don't wanna get cut off by a talking tree.

(Shots of Owen, dressed as Groot, fighting alongside Sam, dancing, and making an angry face.)

Owen: I am Groot.

I am Groot.

I am Groot.

I AM GROOT!

(Cut to Geoff, dressed as Ant-Man, riding on a flying ant.)

Geoff: Small as a dot on the wing of a bee,

On the back of a slightly larger bee,

On the bill of a duck, on the back of a horse...

What was the question again?

Oh yeah, am I small?

Well you could say that,

Small like a man who's an ant

Or an ant who's a man.

To be honest I don't understand,

Gonna kick your ass anyway!

(Cut to Harold, dressed as the Hulk, fighting Chitauri soldiers, Ultron drones, and Fenrir.)

Harold: Careful how you move around me.

You don't wanna see Bruce turn green.

If I lose my cool you gon' feel that heat,

You gon' free that beast inside.

I'm not the one you really wanna try,

I'd advise that you run and hide,

When my Jekyll side's rage starts to rise,

If you wanna feel defeat I'll oblige.

Step up to me to meet your demise.

Thanos, now you're the source of my agitation.

Better hope I go under sedation,

Better hope I take up meditation,

'Cause I got no patience, you got no chance.

Green grouch bout to take out the trash,

No romance just tryna smash!

(Cut to Justin, dressed as Thor, battling Malekith’s legions.)

Justin: Uh, so what's a king to a lizard?

Purple skin is tainted by the gems you failed to deliver.

A crooked sinner, couldn't stack up if you gathered a horde!

Fall onto your knees, bow down to the hammer of Thor!

Everybody wanna get it going but I'm flowing through the battle like it's easy breezy!

Loki would've been a better fight for the 2nd time, come have a go, looking measly!

Drop you harder than your mother did, pathetic!

Smash you with a snap of my fingers, I'll come make you regret it!

(Cut to Ebony Maw, Corvus Glaive, Proxima Midnight, and Cull Obsidian—played by Scott, Max, Scarlett, and Chef, respectively—surrounding a portal of dark smoke.)

Alejandro (offscreen): Fun isn't something one considers when balancing the universe...but this does put a smile on my face.

(Alejandro, dressed as Thanos, emerges from the portal.)

Alejandro: Petulant child, evident now you ready to bow,

It's arrogant how you believe you’re relevant, wow.

Malevolent vow, to proceed to level and plow

Half of the universe, but first just you it hurts.

Infinity stones, all capabilities grown,

I'm all powerful and breaking every miserable bone.

Every citizen including the Avenger Initiative

Can't do anything, I'm taking all your hope and I'm killing it.

And that will be the story of you, you all died.

It was all pride, gotta admit that you all tried.

What did you expect? I only court death.

You can get that break 'cause this is your last breath!

(Cut to the heroes and their allies gathering together before charging into battle against Alejandro and his army.)

Chorus: We've been waiting for this moment...

The final opponent...

Collecting their components...

We've been waiting for this moment...

The final opponent...

Collecting their components...

To end humanity!

(Cut to black, before the words ‘wait for it...’ appear on the screen. Cut to Izzy, dressed as Deadpool, perched on Stark Tower’s A.)

Izzy: Knock knock, it's your favorite merc with a mouth,

Dropping my verse like balls in your mouth.

Ya, I know that's not right,

But it wasn't cool not giving me an invite

To the team, you know, the new Avengers movie, that's what I mean.

Well f*ck it, I'm gonna come in anyways and lay some sick rhymes,

'Cause I'm going to be a YouTube star, okay?

Is this the part where I ask them to smash the like, and leave a comment, er?

Gross face burnt like toast, revenge is what I want most,

I'm cleaning up the east coast, I eat these streets like beef roast...

Wait, sh*t, what was my next line? Am I out of time?

(Cut to credits, depicting each camper alongside a clip of their character.)


End file.
